Within the game there are many tasks to complete, some are integral to the story line and have to be completed in order to progress, others are there to either enhance the storyline or increase your skill or your characters wealth. One of the none essential areas of the game is outfits, throughout the game you can gain new outfits to wear rather than the default one you start the game with. Each outfit, is split into items to be obtained in different ways. Some are gained by completing missions, others by finding them around the game and some are bought from specific vendors, it could be quite complicated but the developers saw fit to give you a check list in the menu which includes instructions on how to obtain each piece so you know where you are with it. “Well that all sounds very straightforward and well thought out” I hear you say, and you’d be right, except I found a glitch.

It seems to be that Rockstar games hate me, I don’t know what I’ve done to upset them but whatever it was they are relentlessly unforgiving. In Grand Theft Auto IV I was unable to complete the game, the final mission never presented itself to me, you receive a phone call giving you details of the final mission but alas this phone call never happened. Some glitch occurred meaning I was left to drive around aimlessly waiting for the call and it never happened. I felt robbed, and stupidly I hadn’t employed the alternating two save games technique that everybody knows you should. I drove around for a solid two hours hoping the call would come through and even tried again months later just in case but it never happened. In Red Dead the glitch is slightly less frustrating, I have obtained an outfit item from a vendor but it has not been checked off on the list meaning I can’t get the achievement for unlocking all outfits (and yes I have tried dropping the item and repurchasing it, alas it did not work). While this is in no way detrimental to my game experience unlike the GTA IV glitch it’s frustrated me because I did intend to get that achievement, being unable to achieve something through lack of skill is one thing but being unable to even try is more so, in this case I feel it is anyway.

It could be worse, it could in fact be a hell of a lot worse but it just seems a shame that the shine has been taken off of these two great games for me.

Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah, it’s just me and my son.

Jen was on her way for a bath, it was the early hours of the morning we were both completely shattered, especially Jen as essentially I had been a spectator for the last few hours. We had already commented on the fact that Mason could already hold his head up. Maybe it was this, perhaps it was fatigue, maybe I just didn’t think at all but I tried to hold Mason on my shoulder. Not my wisest decision to date by any means. Mason seemed fine at first but all of a sudden his entire body weight flicked away from my body. I scrambled to prevent Mason back flipping out of my grasp, I panicked and my hands seemed unable to get a proper hold of him. He seemed to be slipping through my fingers. In my head this lasted forever and resembled an American Football player fumbling the ball and trying desperately to regain control, in reality it was doubtful that it was anywhere near as dramatic.

Either way it scared the living crap out of both me and Mason, he started crying and I wasn’t far off myself. I held him close to me for comfort again as much for me as for him. I was overwhelmed by emotion, my son was barely an hour old and I just almost dropped him 6 feet. I felt like I wasn’t worthy of being a father, Mason stopped crying and I placed him in his bed. I sat down and looked at him then held my head in my hands. I was tired, emotional and scared and it all got a bit to much for me. I gave myself five minutes to pull myself together, i knew I was going to be a good dad and that this was just an accident. Im sure that through my life I’ll make many more mistakes and accidents will happen but I think the fact that I would never intentionally do anything to hurt my family is the important thing to remember.

Jen finished her bath and came back through to the room. I chose not to tell her about what had happened as I was still at that point unable to deal with the potential damage I could have done. Needless to say she does now know as I realised she wouldn’t think any less of me for being human.

Due to low staffing on the ward several hours passed before we were informed that Jen would be staying in over night. The issue was that the midwife did not have enough time to fill in the paper work not that anything was wrong with Mason. I was unable to stay with her but could go down to the ward with her. On arriving at the ward we bumped into a friend who had her baby 15 minutes earlier, which was pretty spooky. I felt a bit more comfortable leaving Jen as she had a friendly face to talk to. I said goodbye to all and went home for a few hours sleep. I was exhausted, completely obliterated by the events of the day and yet completely wired. This did not prevent my sleep however.

The next morning I went to pick Ruby up from jen’s dads house where she had spent the night and was made a coffee and some toast which I was insanely grateful for. I couldn’t wait to introduce Ruby to her baby brother however and made light work of my toast so we could go to the hospital and pick up our new addition. I think it’s fair to say Ruby was completely in love with him from the second she laid eyes on him, this continues now and is 100% reciprocal. Mason will sit watching Ruby play with a large smile on his face and love visibly pouring out from his eyes. I don’t think I could be happier than I am with my life right now and part of this was experiencing the arrival of our son and sharing his life with Jen, Ruby and the rest of our extended families and friends.

This post was a lot shorter than the other two mainly due to he fact that a lot less happens in this period and partly because my memory is a little less accurate due to the passage of time. Basis is though that I’m a fricking idiot but I’m the luckiest fricking idiot on the face of the planet.

It has saddened me over the years that I don’t read as much as I used to but I’ve always felt like I didn’t have the time which is ridiculous. It’s something I love, something I was so very passionate about so I should make time for it, yes two children under 4 makes this a little trickier but by no means impossible. Around new year I decided I should start reading again (which I have probably decided on many occasions over the last seven to ten years) and true to form I did nothing about it… Until now.

The introduction of iOS4 to the iPhone brought with it iBooks, reading a book on a pokey little screen like that seemed a bit silly to me at the time and I never even looked at the iBook store. A few days ago however I did look and my reason for looking was purely because I hadn’t yet. I’m still not sure I’d pay for a novel as of yet but that doesn’t mean I won’t. There are however some free books and being that I’m skint I figured a free book would be a good way to get reading again and blimey has it worked. The book is called His Robot Girlfriend and is written by Wesley Allison, I’m only one chapter in as my reading time has been limited but I’m loving visualising the world created by the book. I thought reading an electronic book would lose something, like it wouldn’t feel right in some way but that really isn’t the case. I fell asleep reading last night however and a book hitting you in the face when you drop it is a damn sight better than an iPhone.

All in all my ebook (or iBook) experience so far is great, not only am I enjoying reading on my iPhone as I am never without it so can read a page or so literally whenever but I’m enjoying reading again full stop (or period if your American). The thing I think I will miss however is seeing a bookshelf full of books that I love, and buying two versions of the same book one of which is intended purely for display purposes seems a tad over the top.

A couple of days ago i had ONE of the most epic days of my life, I highlight the word ONE in case anybody thinks i am putting this day above the day my son was born or any other meaningful event i have been involved in. It wasn’t the most important day of my life, but it’s right up there. It was my University graduation ceremony and was like nothing i have ever experienced before.

The day started much as any other, getting Ruby ready for nursery, feeding Mason etc, the kind of things i do without really thinking to much about them. They are routine yes but that is not to say that i see them as chores. Things ramped up however later in the day. I’m gonna skip to the end because the whole day is unnecessary and possibly a little narcissistic to describe in full.

Getting my robes put on was a weird feeling, and not just because the guy trying to put them on me was about 2 feet shorter than me. As soon as i had them on it was off for photos (at this point i have no idea what i look like, i havent seen myself at all). I stood in a que of people ready for my photo, i saw a girl from my course further up the line we waved at each other. Ten minutes and at least 5 buckets of sweat later i  was at the front ready for my picture. I wandered into the studio and was given instructions on where to stand, a man photographed me 3 times then said done. It all felt very unreal, as i walked back to find my family i bumped into some other people from my course and chatted briefly (i still haven’t seen myself). As i walked back to my family across the concourse my dad and Jen started snapping pictures of me walking towards them. As i reached them i asked for a camera so i could look at a picture they had taken of me. At least 6 photos were taken of me and several hundred people had seen what i looked like before i did which just felt weird. I don’t consider myself vein but the chances are that i never leave the house on any given day without walking past a reflective surface so not having any clue how i looked on this important day in my life was more than a little disconcerting.

The ceremony was really good, the Pro Vice Chancellor was really down to earth and apologised for all the formality that was necessary and then told everybody to make sure they cheer for people they knew. The lady reading names had an awesome voice she sounded like Moira Stewart, totally missed her calling as a newsreader. It was time to go up, i’d like to tell you i wasn’t nervous, i’d like to tell you i went up high fived the Pro Vice Chancellor and did a back flip, i’d like to tell you anything that happened between my name being read out and me sitting down but it was a complete blur. I think i was concentrating on not falling over so hard that i don’t recall it at all, the only thing i do remember is the big cheesy grin i had on my face as i sat down with my certificate in my hand. I’d done it.

The rest of the day was equally as blurry, some photos with friends, returned robes , quick drink and back home to Doncaster for a meal. It would have been nice to stay out and go drinking in Sheffield but reality kicks in, we have 2 kids and one of them had nursery the next day. I don’t feel like i missed out though, we had a lovely meal picked up the kids and then came home. I asked Jen if she needed anything doing as she pottered about getting ready for the following day, she told me to chill out. It occurred to me that my celebratory cigar was still in my suit pocket.

I walked out into the park across the road from our house, it was about ten o’clock. It was incredibly peaceful, i couldn’t hear a thing. As i wandered around smoking my cigar everything faded away, all my concerns at having no job, no money and owing several large faceless corporations this months money and probably some of last months to. I just didn’t care, for the half hour of pure, slightly light headed peace sitting on the swings, spinning the roundabout round and breathing clouds of cigar smoke into the atmosphere i just did not care about anything. My peace was broken by an eastern European gentleman asking me for a light and looking bemused by the size of my cigar as he lit his cigarette from it. I thought about the next day when reality would truly kick in and i faced the prospect of potentially signing on in order to get some form of income and then decided to worry about that tomorrow. Light droplets of rain started to hit me my face and clothing making my shirt a slightly darker shade of red as i walked slowly back to our house which had always been in sight and thought about going upstairs checking in on Ruby, climbing into bed and holding my gorgeous girlfriend while watching Mason’s chest rise and fall in the cot by our bed. Yes we have got a lot of problems at the minute, but I’ve got a hell of a lot to be happy about too.

Social Workers ae in short supply but one factor (and I am by no means blaming this one thing entirely) that has changed is that public spending is being cut. This means that one job I applied for that was offering many jobs to both experienced and newly qualified workers reduced to less than a handful of jobs. As a result in the amount of available positions being reduced they really only want experienced workers as if they can only have a fraction of the workers they need then the ones they get need to be good.

As I previously said I’m not blaming this solely for my difficulty finding a job, friends of mine have jobs already, it just means I need to broaden my job search and apply for anything and everything going. This is exactly what I am starting to do. I am lucky that I am still getting shifts at a childrens home which means poverty is kept at bay, for the meantime.

Dig deeper and keep your chin up, this is my advice to myself.

Yesterday morning started much as any other iPhone release day. Me being jealous of people getting their new iPhones but aside from that the morning was much like any other. I dropped Ruby at nursery and came home to faff about with things and play XBOX. We had decided to go through to Sheffield as a family day out and picnic in Endcliffe Park. The day wasn’t as gorgeous as was predicted but the weather stayed niceish and got nicer. The park was great fun and Ruby especially loved the stepping stones over the river. There was no escaping the time creeping towards 3.30 though so we packed up and headed to Uni to get the results of 4 years hard work.

My journey into education started when I suffered a series of panic attacks at work. I was advised to avoid returning to my job if possible as it may be the cause of the stress. Six weeks off work gave me time to think about my life and make some decisions to change it. I couldn’t avoid going back to work but I could go back part time and go to college. I was never interested in going to Uni first tine round, which was good because I couldn’t have if I wanted to. I got 3 C’s 3 D’s and 3 E’s at GCSE hardly university material, I had no idea what to do with my life. I was 16 I had disappointed myself and my family because I hated school. All this being said A levels then Uni was the wrong route for me, I’m glad I waited till later in life. It was tough, I’ve had a lot on my plate over the last 3-4 years including the birth of my son while in the middle of an important piece of Uni work but I’ve never failed a unit, never had a resit and now I have a gorgeous family, a degree and a career path to show for it.

I’m proud of my accomplishments and can’t wait for the next chapter of mine and my familys livse to begin.

As I got off the motorway to drive to the young boys house the signal died on my phone preventing the map from updating, this was really frustrating as I hadn’t needed them till this exact point. I knew the house was only about 2 miles away but 2 miles of housing estate is a lot of houses.

Driving around trying to get a signal and growing more and more frustrated I got annoyed by the usually entertaining podcast I was listening to. I pulled the mini jack that was sending the audio to my stereo from the top of my iPhone to silence it. Signal returned shortly after and I made it to the job on time, phew. Upon returning to my car to come home I wanted to finish listening to the podcast so I plugged in my cradle sat the iPhone on it but met some resistance when plugging in the mini jack. I tried again and felt less resistance and it went in. I set off driving but the sound quality was shocking, lots of static and the sound was real quiet I couldn’t make out what was being said. I pulled over to take a look and realised what had happened. I wanted to cry.

When I pulled the mini jack out in frustration while driving I must have done so at an angle and snapped off the end of the mini jack inside my phone. When I tried to put the mini jack back in the resistance I felt was the broken off end which I then proceeded to push right to the bottom of the headphone socket. I am planning on getting an iPhone 4 in a week or so meaning this won’t really affect me for to long, however I was planning on selling it and this will probably mean I can’t or have to take less for it as a result. I am not a happy bunny, at all!!!

At the same time as being excited to move on I’m a little sad to be leaving Uni behind. After the exam pretty much everybody went to Bar One at the union and much alcohol was consumed while chatting about the past and about the future too. I will really miss hanging out with all my Uni friends and I am hoping to keep in touch with many of them but will definately keep in touch with a few. We get our results on the 24th of June which is not very far away at all. It is coincidentally the release of the iPhone 4 which I really badly want but don’t want an 18 month contract as that means I can’t have the iPhone they bring out next year. Another part of me feels that if I got it on release day as well as my results it would be extra specially awesome.

This summer is shaping up to be a hell of a lot better than last year already just because I have some part time work already in place which is great. Last year I had one days work in the 18 weeks I had off, hopefully I will have a job sooner than that this year and money is certainly a factor as we are moving house in a few months, there are now two children to feed and put clothes on as opposed to one and I’ve been supported by Jen for the last two and a half years so it’s time I returned the favour when her paid maternity ends. Everything is looking very positive so far though and other than Ruby having chicken pox all is well at home, I’ve never been happier.

I will not be discussing Jens success other than to say she’s doing really well as it is not my place to talk about it. I however have lost six pounds since starting on Sunday. Week one losses are always bigger so I’m not expecting to maintain this rate of loss but am happy with my progress this far. I intended to start running on Monday but Sunday night I just couldn’t sleep at all. I always run early morning before the kids wake up (between five and 6 usually) so a 3am bedtime meant there was no chance of this happening at all. No worries says I, I will just start tomorrow. Yet again this was a no go, Ruby woke up early not very well. She’s got chicken pox. This irritated me greatly (me not running not Ruby being ill) as Wednesday is no day to start a 3 times a week with a rest day between running program. During Monday I discovered an app for the iPhone, and it’s related website that trains you to do 100 press ups in 6 weeks, I figured this would be perfect for my none running days to build back up some upper body strength. I started Monday and today my arms are aching like buggery, no pain no gain though so I will do day 2 today and keep you updated on my progress. I will start running next Tuesday, I will… Probably