I haven’t been blogging a lot recently, in fact i haven’t been doing a lot of anything. The reason for this may or may not become clear during this post.

A couple of days ago i had ONE of the most epic days of my life, I highlight the word ONE in case anybody thinks i am putting this day above the day my son was born or any other meaningful event i have been involved in. It wasn’t the most important day of my life, but it’s right up there. It was my University graduation ceremony and was like nothing i have ever experienced before.

The day started much as any other, getting Ruby ready for nursery, feeding Mason etc, the kind of things i do without really thinking to much about them. They are routine yes but that is not to say that i see them as chores. Things ramped up however later in the day. I’m gonna skip to the end because the whole day is unnecessary and possibly a little narcissistic to describe in full.

Getting my robes put on was a weird feeling, and not just because the guy trying to put them on me was about 2 feet shorter than me. As soon as i had them on it was off for photos (at this point i have no idea what i look like, i havent seen myself at all). I stood in a que of people ready for my photo, i saw a girl from my course further up the line we waved at each other. Ten minutes and at least 5 buckets of sweat later i  was at the front ready for my picture. I wandered into the studio and was given instructions on where to stand, a man photographed me 3 times then said done. It all felt very unreal, as i walked back to find my family i bumped into some other people from my course and chatted briefly (i still haven’t seen myself). As i walked back to my family across the concourse my dad and Jen started snapping pictures of me walking towards them. As i reached them i asked for a camera so i could look at a picture they had taken of me. At least 6 photos were taken of me and several hundred people had seen what i looked like before i did which just felt weird. I don’t consider myself vein but the chances are that i never leave the house on any given day without walking past a reflective surface so not having any clue how i looked on this important day in my life was more than a little disconcerting.

The ceremony was really good, the Pro Vice Chancellor was really down to earth and apologised for all the formality that was necessary and then told everybody to make sure they cheer for people they knew. The lady reading names had an awesome voice she sounded like Moira Stewart, totally missed her calling as a newsreader. It was time to go up, i’d like to tell you i wasn’t nervous, i’d like to tell you i went up high fived the Pro Vice Chancellor and did a back flip, i’d like to tell you anything that happened between my name being read out and me sitting down but it was a complete blur. I think i was concentrating on not falling over so hard that i don’t recall it at all, the only thing i do remember is the big cheesy grin i had on my face as i sat down with my certificate in my hand. I’d done it.

The rest of the day was equally as blurry, some photos with friends, returned robes , quick drink and back home to Doncaster for a meal. It would have been nice to stay out and go drinking in Sheffield but reality kicks in, we have 2 kids and one of them had nursery the next day. I don’t feel like i missed out though, we had a lovely meal picked up the kids and then came home. I asked Jen if she needed anything doing as she pottered about getting ready for the following day, she told me to chill out. It occurred to me that my celebratory cigar was still in my suit pocket.

I walked out into the park across the road from our house, it was about ten o’clock. It was incredibly peaceful, i couldn’t hear a thing. As i wandered around smoking my cigar everything faded away, all my concerns at having no job, no money and owing several large faceless corporations this months money and probably some of last months to. I just didn’t care, for the half hour of pure, slightly light headed peace sitting on the swings, spinning the roundabout round and breathing clouds of cigar smoke into the atmosphere i just did not care about anything. My peace was broken by an eastern European gentleman asking me for a light and looking bemused by the size of my cigar as he lit his cigarette from it. I thought about the next day when reality would truly kick in and i faced the prospect of potentially signing on in order to get some form of income and then decided to worry about that tomorrow. Light droplets of rain started to hit me my face and clothing making my shirt a slightly darker shade of red as i walked slowly back to our house which had always been in sight and thought about going upstairs checking in on Ruby, climbing into bed and holding my gorgeous girlfriend while watching Mason’s chest rise and fall in the cot by our bed. Yes we have got a lot of problems at the minute, but I’ve got a hell of a lot to be happy about too.

1 week ago I found out my results from University. Prior to getting these results I applied for 2 jobs. Why only 2 jobs? Well I was under the impression that I would ba a dead certain for at least one of these. Maybe this was a touch arrogant or niave but it has been my understanding that qualified social workers are in short supply and heavy demand, however things do change.

Social Workers ae in short supply but one factor (and I am by no means blaming this one thing entirely) that has changed is that public spending is being cut. This means that one job I applied for that was offering many jobs to both experienced and newly qualified workers reduced to less than a handful of jobs. As a result in the amount of available positions being reduced they really only want experienced workers as if they can only have a fraction of the workers they need then the ones they get need to be good.

As I previously said I’m not blaming this solely for my difficulty finding a job, friends of mine have jobs already, it just means I need to broaden my job search and apply for anything and everything going. This is exactly what I am starting to do. I am lucky that I am still getting shifts at a childrens home which means poverty is kept at bay, for the meantime.

Dig deeper and keep your chin up, this is my advice to myself.

Yesterday was D Day, the D could stand for Destiny, it could also stand for Delightful and it may even be said to stand for Desmond but what it definately stands for is Degree.

Yesterday morning started much as any other iPhone release day. Me being jealous of people getting their new iPhones but aside from that the morning was much like any other. I dropped Ruby at nursery and came home to faff about with things and play XBOX. We had decided to go through to Sheffield as a family day out and picnic in Endcliffe Park. The day wasn’t as gorgeous as was predicted but the weather stayed niceish and got nicer. The park was great fun and Ruby especially loved the stepping stones over the river. There was no escaping the time creeping towards 3.30 though so we packed up and headed to Uni to get the results of 4 years hard work.

My journey into education started when I suffered a series of panic attacks at work. I was advised to avoid returning to my job if possible as it may be the cause of the stress. Six weeks off work gave me time to think about my life and make some decisions to change it. I couldn’t avoid going back to work but I could go back part time and go to college. I was never interested in going to Uni first tine round, which was good because I couldn’t have if I wanted to. I got 3 C’s 3 D’s and 3 E’s at GCSE hardly university material, I had no idea what to do with my life. I was 16 I had disappointed myself and my family because I hated school. All this being said A levels then Uni was the wrong route for me, I’m glad I waited till later in life. It was tough, I’ve had a lot on my plate over the last 3-4 years including the birth of my son while in the middle of an important piece of Uni work but I’ve never failed a unit, never had a resit and now I have a gorgeous family, a degree and a career path to show for it.

I’m proud of my accomplishments and can’t wait for the next chapter of mine and my familys livse to begin.

Last night I had a shift working with a young Autistic boy in his home so that his parents could go out and spend some well deserved time together. It was a good shift we blew up balloons, bounced on a trampoline, shreded magazines and for a brief period got lumps kicked out of me. I set off to the young boys home with the address entered into maps on my iPhone and a podcast playing away. My iPhone was sat in my charging cradle/ FM transmitter effectively broadcasting the podcast to my car stereo and showing me the maps without me having to hold it, all is well.

As I got off the motorway to drive to the young boys house the signal died on my phone preventing the map from updating, this was really frustrating as I hadn’t needed them till this exact point. I knew the house was only about 2 miles away but 2 miles of housing estate is a lot of houses.

Driving around trying to get a signal and growing more and more frustrated I got annoyed by the usually entertaining podcast I was listening to. I pulled the mini jack that was sending the audio to my stereo from the top of my iPhone to silence it. Signal returned shortly after and I made it to the job on time, phew. Upon returning to my car to come home I wanted to finish listening to the podcast so I plugged in my cradle sat the iPhone on it but met some resistance when plugging in the mini jack. I tried again and felt less resistance and it went in. I set off driving but the sound quality was shocking, lots of static and the sound was real quiet I couldn’t make out what was being said. I pulled over to take a look and realised what had happened. I wanted to cry.

When I pulled the mini jack out in frustration while driving I must have done so at an angle and snapped off the end of the mini jack inside my phone. When I tried to put the mini jack back in the resistance I felt was the broken off end which I then proceeded to push right to the bottom of the headphone socket. I am planning on getting an iPhone 4 in a week or so meaning this won’t really affect me for to long, however I was planning on selling it and this will probably mean I can’t or have to take less for it as a result. I am not a happy bunny, at all!!!

On the 3rd of June I had my final exam at Uni. That’s it, I’m completely finished, no more nights spent in the library finishing essays, no more revision for exams and no more role play in class. It seems completely unfathomable that it’s all over, it’s been such a huge part of my life for 3 years and the previous year at college too. I’ve made new friends, learned new things and gained new experiences but most of all I will now have (if I pass) a career path!!! Something i’ve never had, I’ve just bumbled around from job to job and that’s exciting and a little bit scary too. I’m going to be a social worker, this is a job title that stirs up very strong feelings in some people and quite frankly that will possibly be the smallest issue that I face on a daily basis. As much as I am a little scared by my future line of work I can’t wait to get stuck in and start using the tools I’ve been equipped with over the last few years. I’ve applied for a couple of jobs and am currently waiting to find out if I have an interview.

At the same time as being excited to move on I’m a little sad to be leaving Uni behind. After the exam pretty much everybody went to Bar One at the union and much alcohol was consumed while chatting about the past and about the future too. I will really miss hanging out with all my Uni friends and I am hoping to keep in touch with many of them but will definately keep in touch with a few. We get our results on the 24th of June which is not very far away at all. It is coincidentally the release of the iPhone 4 which I really badly want but don’t want an 18 month contract as that means I can’t have the iPhone they bring out next year. Another part of me feels that if I got it on release day as well as my results it would be extra specially awesome.

This summer is shaping up to be a hell of a lot better than last year already just because I have some part time work already in place which is great. Last year I had one days work in the 18 weeks I had off, hopefully I will have a job sooner than that this year and money is certainly a factor as we are moving house in a few months, there are now two children to feed and put clothes on as opposed to one and I’ve been supported by Jen for the last two and a half years so it’s time I returned the favour when her paid maternity ends. Everything is looking very positive so far though and other than Ruby having chicken pox all is well at home, I’ve never been happier.

Not posted on my blog for some time now so thought i would explain to anybody (nobody) that reads it and doesn’t know that i’m trying to finish my degree right now.

Got a lot on my plate in the form of essays to finish writing, exams to revise for trying to find gainful employment for after i qualify and not neglect my family in the process. I feel i may be falling short on the latter of these as i have moved to Sheffield for the entirety of this week and most of last week in order to study.

Jen is however amazing and realises that it is only a couple of weeks which matter not in the grand scheme of things so all, i hope, is well.

Thats it for the worst blog post ever, apologies to anyone who is waiting for part 3 of my trilogy of posts but as soon as i finish all this University malarky i will be able to finish it and get it posted.

In about a month I will have the necessary funds to buy a car. This something I must do as once I qualify the fact that I drive is going to increase my employability by around 80%. I get my last loan payment in April and I qualify in July, however buying a car asap will also increase my choice in part time work I’m putting an ASAP on it. The reason for my post is that I would like to hear from anybody who knows somebody (or even knows somebody that knows somebody who has a car or cars for sale.

Now the sticky bit, when I say I have money to buy a car we are talking around the £500 mark hence the title of this post. I’m looking for a cheap car that may only have to last me 6 months or so until I can afford a better one, this mat sound like a waste of money nut it really is necessary for my work and to qualify without a car will put me at a severe disadvantage.

Prefferably I would like a 5 door (AKA hatchback) family size car. I have had a cavalier and vectra in the past (both of which cost me sub £500) and this size is perfect for me as I am huge.

If anybody can help then tweet me facebook me or reply on here.

Thanks in advance

Wasn’t sure whether to blog about this or not but it’s my life and that’s what the blog is about so here we go.

Today i got a call from Jen while at work, it was a hideous call. The long and the short of it is that our son hasn’t gained any weight since birth nearly three weeks ago. He and Jen are in the hospital for the night allegedly under observation but looks like they ain’t doing diddly squat till the morning. I feel like the most pointless and useless person alive right now cos there is nothing i can do other than offer moral support to Jen. What she must be feeling right now must be hideous.

I hated leaving them in Hospital and i hate that i have to go to work tomorrow because it isn’t really a job it’s my uni placement and i cant have any time off. Plus even if i could i can’t because it’s the last 2 weeks of placement and i need to get all my work finished. Nothing is more important to me than my family of course but doing anything to Jeopardise my degree so close to the end would be foolish as it’s my family I’m doing this for so i can give us all the lives we deserve.

This is all a bit rambly but i needed to write it as a form of release, therapy if you will so that I’m not bottling it all up.

Anyway I’m going to crawl into bed and put a movie on to fall asleep to. Night folks.

P.S. ask me why Tesco are a bit ridiculous tomorrow or in a few days or something.

Wii

Originally uploaded by corneiliuz

Well both Christmas and new year are over now and fairly soon everybody will settle back down into their lives and carry on as normal, apart from me and my family that is.

Christmas was great, we ate good food, we spent time with friends and family and my gorgeous amazing partner bought me a Nintendo Wii under the thinly guised veil that it be a family present (course it is). But the whole period has been overshadowed by the impending birth of our son, he’s still not here and waiting is getting frustrating especially through a period where so much is going on. I can’t wait for him to get here so I can see him, I just wish he’d shift his arse.

So now we know our son will be born in 2010 and it all sounds a bit Sci Fi, surely we should all have hover cars or be slaves to the robots or something by now? But people will settle in and crack on, but this year is HUGE for my little family and here’s a list of reasons why starting with:

our son will be born
I will (hopefully) graduate Uni
i will start my career
we are potentially moving house
Ruby is starting Nursery
I’ve promised Jen I will propose at some point in the next 365 days

so in the words of Montel Vontavious Porter “Big things popping, little things stopping”

have a great 2010 people looks I sure will

I do love seeing overweight people running for a bus or train. Maybe that’s not very PC of me but quite frankly I don’t care, it’s funny.

They are at the train door now waiting for the button to light up, it’s lit and they are off. With an early lead it’s White shirts too tight, White shirts too tight has a couple of lengths on the pack but coming up strong from behind it’s spiffy wax jacket. Spiffy wax jacket of course breaking in a new pair of shoes so favours the soft ground and this race being on a train platform is definately firm. No sign of the favourite in the lead group, big things were expected from sunroof for a love machine but he seems to be struggling at the back. Coming towards the finish line and there is a late break from inappropriate dress, inpapropriate dress of course is the filly and appears to be going strong. The other runners seem somehow distracted by her impressive fore flanks.