Inner Pieces
July 22nd, 2010I haven’t been blogging a lot recently, in fact i haven’t been doing a lot of anything. The reason for this may or may not become clear during this post.
A couple of days ago i had ONE of the most epic days of my life, I highlight the word ONE in case anybody thinks i am putting this day above the day my son was born or any other meaningful event i have been involved in. It wasn’t the most important day of my life, but it’s right up there. It was my University graduation ceremony and was like nothing i have ever experienced before.
The day started much as any other, getting Ruby ready for nursery, feeding Mason etc, the kind of things i do without really thinking to much about them. They are routine yes but that is not to say that i see them as chores. Things ramped up however later in the day. I’m gonna skip to the end because the whole day is unnecessary and possibly a little narcissistic to describe in full.
Getting my robes put on was a weird feeling, and not just because the guy trying to put them on me was about 2 feet shorter than me. As soon as i had them on it was off for photos (at this point i have no idea what i look like, i havent seen myself at all). I stood in a que of people ready for my photo, i saw a girl from my course further up the line we waved at each other. Ten minutes and at least 5 buckets of sweat later i was at the front ready for my picture. I wandered into the studio and was given instructions on where to stand, a man photographed me 3 times then said done. It all felt very unreal, as i walked back to find my family i bumped into some other people from my course and chatted briefly (i still haven’t seen myself). As i walked back to my family across the concourse my dad and Jen started snapping pictures of me walking towards them. As i reached them i asked for a camera so i could look at a picture they had taken of me. At least 6 photos were taken of me and several hundred people had seen what i looked like before i did which just felt weird. I don’t consider myself vein but the chances are that i never leave the house on any given day without walking past a reflective surface so not having any clue how i looked on this important day in my life was more than a little disconcerting.
The ceremony was really good, the Pro Vice Chancellor was really down to earth and apologised for all the formality that was necessary and then told everybody to make sure they cheer for people they knew. The lady reading names had an awesome voice she sounded like Moira Stewart, totally missed her calling as a newsreader. It was time to go up, i’d like to tell you i wasn’t nervous, i’d like to tell you i went up high fived the Pro Vice Chancellor and did a back flip, i’d like to tell you anything that happened between my name being read out and me sitting down but it was a complete blur. I think i was concentrating on not falling over so hard that i don’t recall it at all, the only thing i do remember is the big cheesy grin i had on my face as i sat down with my certificate in my hand. I’d done it.
The rest of the day was equally as blurry, some photos with friends, returned robes , quick drink and back home to Doncaster for a meal. It would have been nice to stay out and go drinking in Sheffield but reality kicks in, we have 2 kids and one of them had nursery the next day. I don’t feel like i missed out though, we had a lovely meal picked up the kids and then came home. I asked Jen if she needed anything doing as she pottered about getting ready for the following day, she told me to chill out. It occurred to me that my celebratory cigar was still in my suit pocket.
I walked out into the park across the road from our house, it was about ten o’clock. It was incredibly peaceful, i couldn’t hear a thing. As i wandered around smoking my cigar everything faded away, all my concerns at having no job, no money and owing several large faceless corporations this months money and probably some of last months to. I just didn’t care, for the half hour of pure, slightly light headed peace sitting on the swings, spinning the roundabout round and breathing clouds of cigar smoke into the atmosphere i just did not care about anything. My peace was broken by an eastern European gentleman asking me for a light and looking bemused by the size of my cigar as he lit his cigarette from it. I thought about the next day when reality would truly kick in and i faced the prospect of potentially signing on in order to get some form of income and then decided to worry about that tomorrow. Light droplets of rain started to hit me my face and clothing making my shirt a slightly darker shade of red as i walked slowly back to our house which had always been in sight and thought about going upstairs checking in on Ruby, climbing into bed and holding my gorgeous girlfriend while watching Mason’s chest rise and fall in the cot by our bed. Yes we have got a lot of problems at the minute, but I’ve got a hell of a lot to be happy about too.
